We All Deserve To Die
by Joker with the Green Scarf
Summary: Mary Jameson is an orphan with her brother, Toby, who lives with Pirelli. One day she and Toby sell 'Miracle Elixir' on the streets. Mary meets a man that she will never forget. SweeneyxOC! Rated T for violence and swearing.
1. Information

Name: Mary Jameson

Age: 19

Family: Toby (younger brother) Pirelli (not really, but she conciders him as an abusive father)

Hair color: black

Hair style: goes down to the small of her back

Eye color: Icy blue

Race: vampire (the ones who have fangs, but she doesn't kill people. Vampires DO NOT kill!)

Skin tone: deathly pale

Interests: hair styling, barberingness **A/N: My word :3**, cooking, singing (soprano bby :3)

Past: Her and Toby have had an aweful time ever since their parents died. They were sent to the wearhouse which was an aweful place. One day, Pirelli adopted them and he's been treating them like shit. That pretty much sums it up.

**A/N: I believe that there are two kinds of vampires. One with fangs, who can only stay in the sunlight for 4 hours, drink a lot of blood, but not enough to kill a human, and deathly pale. Then, there are vampires with nails. The dirty-looking, hard nails. These vampires breathe knock-out gas into their victim's face and they make a small cut with their fingernails into the victim's flesh. They drink only a LITTLE blood. They can stand 8 hours in the sunlight, but they get a huge sunburn, they never kill, and yada yada I don't feel like getting into a debate about this stuff x.x"**


	2. An Awful Fraud

*~Part 1~*

Toby and I were outside selling Pirelli's piss... again. God, that stuff is evil! He tested it on Toby and half of his hair burned off! Now he has to wear a blonde wig whenever we sell the products.  
"Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention please?" Toby sang. "Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair? What ought not to be there?"

"Well ladies and gentlemen, from now you can waken at ease. You may never again have a worry or care; we will show you a miracle. Marvelous; rare. I was stricken by cancer and my hair fell out, but then a miracle came flying about. Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see something what rose from the dead.... on the top of my head!" I sang. At the, 'on the top of my head' part, I took off the hat I was wearing, revealing my long, black hair. Most of the women gave me jealous glares because I kept my hair clean and natural, by washing it every night with soap and ink.

"T'was Pirelli's Miracle Elixir. That's what did the trick sir. True sir true." I sang.

*~Skips to where Sweeney says, "What is this? Smells like piss."~*

"What is this?" a man sang.  
"What is this?" a woman's voice.  
"Smells like piss." The man's voice again.  
I looked at the man who was singing. He had nice, curly black hair with a streak of white hair on the side. He was very pale and had dark, brown eyes. He was very handsome.  
Then, Pirelli jumped onstage and Toby pulled me away into a corner of the stage.  
Pirelli started to sing about who said his elixir is piss.

"I do." The man said. "I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street."  
Sweeney walked past the crowd and up to the stage.  
"I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I say to you, that is nothing but an awful fraud. Concocted from piss and ink." He said, coolly.  
"_Finally, someone who's smart enough to figure that out._" I thought.  
I went into another one of my thinking trances until Pirelli shouted,  
"TOBY! MARY!"  
My head shot up and I walked over with Toby to Pirelli. Pirelli said,  
"Mary dear, it would-a be unfair for me to have-a 2 assistants and Mr. Todd-a none so you will-a assist Mr. Todd."  
I nodded and walked over to where Sweeney was.  
"Mary at your service, Mr. Todd." I said.  
"Nice to meet you, Mary. Could you hand me my shaving cream?"  
I nodded and gave it to him. Pirelli sang a song while he was shaving the man's face. While he was, Sweeney was spreading shaving cream on the man's face, taking his time.  
"You have to hurry up, Mr. Todd." I said.  
"Patience."  
I just sighed and let him continue. Pirelli was almost done. Sweeney took 5 quick slings of his blade against the man's face. When he was done, he moved for everyone to see. Not a single scratch on him! That's got to be the smoothest shave I've ever seen!  
"The winner is Todd!" The Beadle exclaimed and everyone cheered. Sweeney and Pirelli had a chat. When they were done, he slapped Toby and me into the tent, and said something in Italian that I didn't understand.  
"YOU IDIOTS!!!!" he said in his normal, British accent. "YOU DROVE AWAY ALL OF MY CUSTOMERS!"  
I gathered my courage and said,  
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be selling piss on the streets!!!"  
He slapped me so hard that there was a handprint on my cheek. I held back my, 'OW!' and tears.

*~A Few Days Later...~*

Pirelli decided to go visit Mr. Todd, so he took us with him. We met a lady there, the same one who was with Sweeney.  
"Aw, poor things." She said. "Do you mind if I gave them each a nice, juicy meat pie?"  
"Si si si, whatever you want." Pirelli said, going upstairs.  
"Come on," She led us into the pie shop. "Tuck in." We both sat down in a booth and she brought each of us a meat pie. I took a bite out of mine. It tasted awful, but I was so hungry; I didn't even care.  
"I like to see children with a good appetite." She smiled. "Kind of reminds me of my dear Albert."  
She pointed to a picture on the wall of an ugly, bald, fat man.  
"Although, he didn't have your nice head of hair." She said to Toby.  
"To tell you the truth, it gets awfully hot." He replied as he took off the wig, letting his short, brown hair out.  
A few minutes later, we heard pounding from upstairs. I realized the time and said standing up,  
"Oh my gosh, Toby! Pirelli has an appointment with the tailor! If he's late again, he'll blame us!"  
We got up and ran to Sweeney's place, ignoring Mrs. Lovett's commands to stay downstairs.


	3. Finally

**A/N: I'd like to thank my one and only reviewer, **_**Phantom's Ange **_**for reviewing. I need more reviewers x( Remember, I'm sick with a fever and a stomach ache. Reviews are the best kind of medicine…**

*~Part 2~*

I came in first and yelled,

"Senior Pirelli! You have an appointme-"

I stepped when I couldn't find Pirelli anywhere. I looked to my right and saw Mr. Todd pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Mr. Todd, where's Senior Pirelli?" I asked.

"He left. Said something about an important quick trip. Why don't you two go downstairs and wait for your master?" He replied.

"No sir, I think we should stay here and wait for him." Toby said as he sat on the chest to our left.

"Mrs. Lovett is a charming woman, isn't she?" He said to Toby. A storm of jealousy hit me. I don't know why though... I'm like way too young to be with Mr. Todd.

"She's a real lady." Toby replied, smiling.

"No sir, I really think we should stay up here." Toby replied, smiling.

"Maybe there would be another pie in it for the both of you if you go downstairs."

There was another presence here, kind of like Pirelli's. Was he in here?

"Tell you what," Mr. Todd said, looking at both of us. "Tell Mrs. Lovett that I said to give you two each a big tot of gin."

"Thank you, sir!" Toby exclaimed and ran down the stairs and into the pie shoppe.

"Why aren't you going with your brother?" He said.

"I know you're up to no good, Mr Todd! I can smell fresh blood in this room and I can feel Senior Pirelli's presence too!"

I sniffed the air and the scent was the strongest in the chest. I opened it and gasped. There was Pirelli, all bloody, and gasping in pain. I laughed and punched him in the face.

"M-m-mary... he-lp m-me p-p-please..."

"Not a chance, bitch! You put me and my brother through A LOT of pain and now is your time to SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I grabbed one of Sweeney's razors and started to stab Pirelli constantly. He was choking in pain, but I didn't care. I was finally getting my revenge! He was dead after 9 stabs. I dropped the razor on the ground and bit his neck, slurping heavily on his blood. Even though he was an evil man, he blood was kick-ass!

When I got done, I sighed of relief and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I looked over at Sweeney and he looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"What?! I haven't had blood in 5 months! Of course I would go after him like a mad animal!" Then I realized that he didn't know I was a vampire. "Oh, sorry Mr Todd. I forgot to tell you I was a vampire... he he..."

"I can see that..." He looked at the corpse and then his bloody razor. He picked it up and closed the chest. He took out a white rag and started cleaning it. Then, someone came into the room. It was Mrs Lovett.

"How long till Pirelli gets back?"

"He won't be back..." I giggled, baring my blood-stained fangs.

She gasped. "Mary, you didn't!"

She opened the chest and closed it gasping. "You're barking mad! Killing a man who done you no harm, who took you and Toby in from the warehouse!"

"He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings. And then, when I was just about to finish him off, Mary and Toby came in. Toby left and Mary got a hold of Pirelli. She said he abused them. Killed him and drank his blood like an animal."

"Oh, well, it's a- wait, Mary DRANK HIS BLOOD?!"

"Yeah. I'm a vampire."

She just stood there, wide-eyed. "Is Toby one too?!"

"No. He knows that I am one, but he isn't a vampire."

She opened the chest. "Ugh, all that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well."

She reached into his pocket and picked up his money pouch. "Well, waste not, want not."

She stuffed it into her dress. "So, what are we going to do about the boy then?"

"Send him up."

I turned to Sweeney angrily. "NO!!! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO KILL MY BROTHER!!!"

He turned to Mrs Lovett, ignoring my command. "SEND HIM UP!"

She walked up to him. "Now, Mr T, surely one's enough for today. Besides, I was thinking of hiring the lad to help me run the shop. Maybe you can hire Mary to help you with your's. Toby says she's really good with hair."

He faced me. "You are?"

I nodded. "I got tips from Pirelli. Although, I wouldn't sell piss on the streets." I rubbed my cheek, remembering when Pirelli slapped me.

"Alright." He walked up to the window.

"Course, we're going to have to stock up on the gin. Boy drinks like a sailor.

"I giggled, remembering how Toby use to drink 2 bottles of gin each night at the warehouse. Oh how he loved the stuff! Then, Sweeney's attention grew as he was watching out the window. "The Judge." He whispered. He turned to Mrs Lovett.

"Get out."She just stood there. Mr Todd yelled/whispered, "GET OUT!" She left.

"Mary! Grab my coat!"

I saw his coat and put it on him quickly. Then, there was a ding. "Mr Todd?"

**A/N: If none of you guys have seen the movie… that would be a HUGE cliffhanger D:**


	4. Leaving!

Attention to everyone, I am posting this chapter to every single one of my stories because this is a super important message. Joker with the Green Scarf is going out of business. That's right. I'm deleting this account.

FAQ:

**Q: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT?**

_A: Because someone hacked the email that I use for EVERYTHING including this account, so I made a new account in fear that the hacker will delete this account. The name is:_

_Engelhaft Albtraum_

_It means "Angelic Nightmare" in German :)_

**Q: Are you going to repost your stories or make new ones and totally leave out your awesome stories?  
**

_A: Yes, I'm going to repost my stories on my new account. They'll all be posted at once so no waiting :P and I'm definitely making new stories!_

**Q: When are you deleting your account?**

_A: I'm going to be deleting it September 20th 2010 on Monday afternoon/night EST so everyone can have a chance to see this chapter/message_

**Q: What colour are your panties?**

_A: Actually, I'm wearing Guitar Hero boxers right now underneath my pants. Not panties._

**Q: What kind of stories do you have coming up?**

_A: I just wrote the first chapter to my newest story. It doesn't fall under a category though, so I'm going to post it on my fictionpress account which has the same name as my new fanfiction account. Engelhaft Albtraum. It's a story about how fucked up I've become due to one person... my true love Angel... and I'm not with him because he doesn't care about me and it's driving me to insanity. Anyways, you'll find out the rest in the story. The name of the story is Hearts Burst Into Fire and it will be posted on September 15th, 2010 on Wednesday._

**Q: Will you be continuing any of the stories you discontinued ?**

_A: Yes, and I can read that =_=;;_

_But, yes, I am going to continue some of the stories I discontinued. It will be a long time before they get out because I have school ontop of chores, a relationship with a guy who I love but I don't love him as much as Angel and I want to be with Angel but I can't, that thing I have to call a dad being home all the time and I'm not allowed to use the computer when he's home, my wifi in the house is fucking up really bad (the router is hooked to my laptop so that's how I'm posting this), and I have a lot of moments where I'm too depressed to write and I'm crying and having panic attacks and cutting myself and drinking my blood. Everyday. Told ya my life was fucked up._

**Q: Why won't your dad let you be on the internet?**

_A: Don't call him my dad or you'll die. His name is Gary and if you call him my dad, I will hunt you down and hang you by your intenstines, spoon out your eyes, shove them up your vagina, and stab the living shit outta you. But anyways, back to the question. Gary won't let me on the computer because when I was 11, I was talking to people I didn't know over the internet. I wasn't giving them any personal information or anything. I didn't even tell them my real name (which is still going to be a mystery to everyone) and Gary grounded me from the internet until I move out of the house =/ I can't even do fucking school work..._

**Q: Are all these questions annoying you?**

_A: Yes. And the panties question just scared me a bit._


End file.
